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OK, let’s talk about breakfast in France. Sure, there may be yogurt involved, cheese perhaps, fruit may make a fleeting appearance; but you ought to be able to count on two things. Coffee & Croissants.
Ordering coffee in France can be a challenge for the uninitiated. Let’s cover off a few basic points.
If you ask for un café in France, this is what you’ll get. It’s short, black and strong. It doesn’t come with milk, foam, vanilla soy decaf froth, syrup, or cream. It’s just coffee.
If you’re happy to take a short coffee, but want a little hot milk in it, ask for un noisette. Yes, ‘un’ noisette. Before you all tell me that a hazelnut is feminine ( yes I know it is ) it takes the masculine of coffee, because – get this – it’s a coffee, not a hazelnut ..
Either of these are acceptable as a ‘deca’ ( decaf ). Well, I say acceptable, the French will sneer slightly less than the Italians, but that’s ok.
If you want a large milky coffee, it’s a ‘grand crème’ but like the Italians, the French don’t really drink that style after lunch… If you can find a cappucino, particularly down here in the South, good luck. Very few have ever lived up to expectation, but I suppose there’s always a chance you’ll get lucky. A visual, at this point, may help.. On the left is a grand creme, and on the right, a cappucino
Now, I reckon, you could still fit at least two, grand crèmes into the smallest Starbucks serving. I’ll just leave you to think about that for a moment
The real breakfast tragedy, however, is the news that the patrons of Tesco Supermarkets in Britain find it too difficult to butter a croissant. Yep, the challenge of spreading butter on a crescent shaped morcel of pastry is too much for the British Breakfasting Public, and henceforth, Tesco will be selling straight croissants. For the unwitting, this, is a croissant.
It’s a flaky, buttery crescent 
(natch) shaped pastry, which you can dunk in your grand crème, or spread with butter and jam, or just eat as it is. The clue, people, is in the name.
Seriously, just how dumbed down are we going to get? And from a vaguely trades description point of view, if a croissant isn’t a crescent, is it still a croissant ? Perhaps they’ll rename it the straightant. Even putting that in print is a bad idea. Some idiot will think I’m serious.
Anyone for porridge ?
Flight Of The Wines Poured 
Sorry, but any discussion of breakfast in France that doesn’t include pain au chocolat is incomplete.
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Well, the thing is: what self-respecting French person would slice their croissant in half and spread butter and jam on it?? Everyone knows that if you must put stuff on it, you pull off a chunk, add your condiment of choice, and then dip it in your grand crème. Sigh … philistine Brits!
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